


in the eye of the beholder (if you let yourself be held)

by 528loves



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: (lots of kisses), Alternate Universe - College/University, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Kisses, M/M, renjun is an artist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28359192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/528loves/pseuds/528loves
Summary: Renjun asks Jisung to help model kissing poses for his art project. Falling in love, Jisung thinks, is just a bonus.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Park Jisung
Comments: 22
Kudos: 148
Collections: the rensung files





	in the eye of the beholder (if you let yourself be held)

**Author's Note:**

> written for rensungfest prompt #063

When Renjun texts him to come over one Friday evening, Jisung doesn’t think much of it at first. It’s like clockwork, the way he glances at the puppy eyes emoji and goes on autopilot, tossing his clothes into his bag, tucking a toothbrush into the front pocket, and scooping up his laptop from his desk. Behind his obvious eagerness to be distracted from Tiktok all weekend, _this_ should’ve been his first clue that he would go out of his way to make Renjun happy—even if he is a bit slow when it comes to matters of the heart. 

(That’s fine, though. He’ll get there eventually.) 

Instead, he figures he doesn’t have much else to do, so he shouts a quick goodbye to Jaemin before starting the ten-minute trek to Renjun’s dorm. The well-trodden path is testament to how often they’ve done this for each other, no matter how many cryptic hints they drop about their hangout plans.

Belatedly, he realizes that he should’ve known this time would be different, because— 

“Oh, hey! Jisung!” 

Jisung’s eyes go wide with shock.

Renjun’s room is _messy_. 

No, messy isn’t the right word: there’s a halo of loose scraps and wadded-up paper balls surrounding Renjun’s desk, adorning the floor and bed with unflattering ink stains. His beloved easel is toppled over in the corner—something that would never happen under normal circumstances—while Renjun himself is hunched over his sketchbook, headphones dangling from his neck, one finger held up to warn Jisung about the giant puddle of paint he was about to step into near the doorway. 

Bewildered, Jisung takes a step back.

“Hyung—” 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to get this bad,” Renjun interrupts, shooting him a sheepish smile. Jisung sighs inwardly. Today must be one of _those_ art days. “I’ll clean it up soon, I promise.”

“You should eat and rest, too,” Jisung reminds him with a frown, maneuvering around the paint to make his way over to Renjun’s desk. “And throw things into the garbage,” he mutters to himself. “Like, the trash can is _right_ there.” He picks up one of Renjun’s crumpled sketches from the floor, tilting his head in confusion. “Hey, is this one supposed to be a cloud or something?”

“Nope, a tree,” Renjun replies automatically. Jisung can’t tell if he’s joking. “Thanks for coming, by the way. As you can see, it’s been a bit of a…” He waves a hand without looking up. “Hectic day.” 

Jisung’s frown deepens as he drops the paper into the wastebasket. “I thought your big art project was due next month.” 

“It is,” Renjun says, making a face. “But it’s worth a ridiculous chunk of my grade, so I wanted to get a head start on it.” He scribbles one last thing down in his sketchbook before turning to face Jisung completely, gaze intense and shining with excitement. “That’s partly why I called you over today.” 

Jisung bounces onto Renjun’s bed, papers and all, curling up on his covers and yawning. “What, do you need my help or something?” he asks half-jokingly, because the other boy almost never asks for help when it comes to his schoolwork. Sometimes, all Jisung does is fetch supplies and refill Renjun’s paintbrush water cup. Other times, Renjun just asks Donghyuck, his roommate, for his opinion on art assignments. Neither of them are remotely qualified to help Renjun, which makes Renjun’s current request even more flattering—especially when he leans back and simply says, “Yes, with posing.” 

_Posing?_

Jisung blinks in surprise. 

In the lengthy pause it takes for him to collect his words, Renjun watches him hopefully, gnawing on his bottom lip. 

“You mean you want me to model for you?” Jisung finally asks in disbelief, not sure if he misheard. “For your final art project?” 

Nodding, Renjun grabs his sketchbook and flips through a few pages, showing him a collection of vague scribbles that slowly assembles itself into a rough comic. Jisung makes a small noise of understanding; Renjun wasn’t kidding when he said he was going to go big or go home.

“I won’t be able to find all the references I need online,” Renjun explains, gesturing to several empty comic panels. “It’s not going to be, like, an action comic, so you don’t need to worry about doing superhero stuff or anything like that.” He laughs and pats Jisung’s shoulder. “But I’ll mainly need us to do couple poses.” 

“Couple poses, huh,” Jisung murmurs under his breath, curiosity thrumming beneath his skin. He feels oddly flattered that Renjun came to him for help. He’s never had artist friends before, but he supposes if Renjun says he’s model material, then it must be true—plus, it’s convenient, given how much time they already spend with each other. 

So he just shrugs and nods. “Sure, why not.” 

“Perfect!” Renjun beams, leaping up from his seat and grabbing his phone. “So you won’t mind if we start now?”

“Uh, now?” Suddenly feeling self-conscious, Jisung hurries to smooth the wrinkles out of his shirt. “Like, right now?” 

“Yeah, the sooner I can get this drawn, the better.” Renjun swats Jisung’s hand away from where he was trying to fix his hair. “Don’t worry, you look fine.” 

He joins Jisung on the bed, briefly showing him the types of poses he wants them to do: a tight hug, a hand on the waist, a quick caress of the face; a peck on the cheek, hands intertwined, arm hooked around the neck. To anyone else it would appear cute, charming even; but Jisung’s face grows warmer and warmer with each description. 

It’s nothing he hasn’t done before—thanks to Jaemin’s friendly affection—but Renjun is _different_ , somehow. He’s pretty and smart and funny and one of Jisung’s closest friends; and he’s been around since Jisung was a timid first year trying to fit in with the rest of his new classmates at university—which is why Jisung should _not_ be getting nervous for a task this straightforward, this professional.

But he can’t help it. He’s not blind.

“Don’t worry, it’s easy,” Renjun is saying, sparing him a brief glance. “It’s only a few pictures. Honestly, I’d have asked Donghyuck to do this, but, uh,” he coughs once, a bit awkwardly, “I didn’t think his boyfriend would be too pleased.” 

Jisung’s head snaps up. “Wait, since when did he get a _boyfriend_?” 

“Like, last month.” Renjun shrugs, flicking through the camera settings on his phone. “It was annoying watching them flirt all the time, but then Sungchan—I think that’s his name?—finally asked him out.” 

“Wow.” Jisung sits back and thinks of all the ways he can tease Donghyuck the next time he sees him. “I can’t believe you guys didn’t tell me.” 

“You didn’t ask!” 

“Still!” he whines, before another realization makes him frown. “Hey! Does that mean I was only your second choice?” 

“Well, when you put it like _that_ ,” Renjun scoffs, though the small smile on his face says otherwise. “No, I’m kidding. I like you better, anyways.” 

And then he reaches over to tousle Jisung’s hair, and Jisung thinks that maybe all is forgiven. “Let’s just get this over with, hyung,” he mumbles, shifting closer to Renjun on the bed. “I’m hungry, I wanna go eat.” 

Renjun hums in agreement and holds up his phone. “Ready when you are.” 

Jisung places a hand on Renjun’s waist and takes a deep breath.

Just like they practiced, they run through all the poses, Jisung feeling his heart rate spike each time the camera shutters. He sits still while Renjun curls a hand around his neck; pretends not to feel his palms get clammy; and suppresses his awe when he finds himself noticing how long Renjun’s eyelashes are. 

And everything is fine, for the first few pictures. 

Until he looks up and realizes that they’re so close he can practically _taste_ Renjun’s breath. 

“Last one,” Renjun murmurs in a low voice, his intentions clear as his gaze flits down to Jisung’s lips and back up to his eyes. Jisung’s breath hitches when Renjun pauses, a hand hovering right above his cheek. “Is this okay?” 

Jisung’s heart is racing. But he whispers _yes_ , slow and sure, and waits. 

Renjun’s lips finally meet his. 

It’s supposed to be brief. Perfunctory. Just a light kiss while the camera flashes for the last time. But for Jisung, the only thing left on his mind is _Renjun Renjun Renjun oh god Renjun is kissing me_ , accompanying all his memories of: 

Renjun leading him around campus during orientation week, pointing out different buildings and hidden passageways with a secretive smile on his face. Renjun answering the door of Donghyuck’s apartment in surprise as Jisung finally learns the identity of Donghyuck’s mysterious roommate; Renjun inviting him to movie night with everyone else after seeing him sulk over his first bad grade in university. 

Jisung remembers all of these things and more, now, like Renjun’s unexpectedly soft lips pressing against his own, Renjun’s faint scent of ink and clean clothes and something distinctly floral, Renjun’s hand cupping his cheek like he’s something precious, and, _oh_.

Oh, no.

Jisung knows what _this_ feeling is. 

“Thanks so much, Jisungie,” Renjun says softly when they part, his cheek pat turning into a full-on pinch, painful as usual. “You’re a really good friend, you know that?”

Something sinks in Jisung’s chest. 

“Y-yep, for sure,” he babbles after he collects himself, nearly tripping in his haste to flee the room. Gone are his plans to stay over; he can’t possibly fathom being in the same _room_ as Renjun now, much less the same apartment. Luckily, Renjun has already turned back to the pictures they took, clearly too preoccupied with his project to notice Jisung grabbing his bag. “I, uh, I gotta go. See you Monday. Or something.” 

“Oh, you don’t want to stay for supper…?” 

“No thanks!” He’s halfway out the door, when he remembers to shout, “Bye!” and proceeds to stub his toe against the wall mere seconds later. 

And _that_ is how Jisung realizes he has a real crush on Renjun. 

✧ ✧ ✧

He spends the following days trying to convince himself it wasn’t a big deal—just a small favor for a friend, nothing more, nothing less; despite the fact that it was also his first kiss, he probably shouldn’t pay too much attention to it. 

( _But first kisses are important_ , the emotional part of him argues. 

_Not if they’re between friends_ , the rational part of him counters.) 

Jisung buries his head in his hands. It’s too complicated for him to figure out. 

Pacing his room back and forth doesn’t accomplish much either, other than to distract him from seeing Renjun in person. They still text like normal, even if it’s clear that Renjun is too swamped with school and club activities to invite him over every single day. Jisung’s own looming deadlines eventually has him deciding that the best plan is to carry on with his life and ignore his newfound crush—a feat easier said than done, considering the fact that he still finds himself _hoping_ , very desperately, for a second kiss.

As it turns out, he doesn’t have to wait too long. 

See, for Jisung, Sundays are usually reserved for doing nothing. He indulges in snacks, catches up on new anime episodes, and lounges on the couch wearing his ugliest sweatpants and rattiest T-shirts without fear of being judged. Little breaks in his routine, like Renjun popping up unannounced to take more selfies with him, are not something he typically prepares for. 

“H-hyung!” he yelps the first time this happens, nearly startling off the couch in alarm. Flustered, he brushes crumbs off his shirt and stuffs the entire bag of chips behind his back, trying to salvage his remaining dignity. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you, uh, aren’t you busy with your art project?”

He quickly checks his breath. It’s too late to freshen up, because Renjun is already rounding the back of the couch to peer down at him with a smile. 

“That’s what I’m here for,” Renjun says, holding up his phone. The next words come out of his mouth so casually that Jisung’s heart skips a beat. “D’you wanna try a Spider-Man kiss with me?” 

He beams at Jisung.

“Okay,” Jisung blurts out immediately. 

He doesn’t want to look too eager, but the effect is ruined when Renjun leans down and kisses him breathless. The click of the camera takes only a second of their time, leaving Jisung with flushed cheeks and another quiet _thanks_ from Renjun as the other boy closes the door behind him. Dazed and giddy, Jisung flops back onto the couch. 

He thinks he could get used to this. 

✧ ✧ ✧

(His opinion doesn’t change even when Renjun knocks on his door the next afternoon and wakes him up from his nap, which probably says more about Jisung than anything else. 

“Hey,” Renjun says, scratching his neck sheepishly. “Sorry for bothering you, but I just got another great idea.” 

Jisung yawns, waving him in. “What is it?” he asks. 

“A piggyback ride.” 

Jisung raises an eyebrow. “Not a bridal carry?” 

“Oh, I didn’t think of that!” Renjun brightens, grasping Jisung’s hands in excitement and making him blush. “Can we try that too?” 

Jisung nods quickly.

Afterwards, Renjun treats him to coffee and cookies as an apology for waking him up. The implied “See you soon!” remains an unspoken agreement.) 

✧ ✧ ✧

Following their routine, Jisung slips into the role naturally, leaning into Renjun’s hugs and kisses when they’re alone or in public, acting as affectionate as possible for the camera. Getting over the initial embarrassment of PDA is easy because of Renjun’s encouraging words and soothing hands, and Jisung gets inspired to suggest more pose ideas until he finds the courage to ask the burning question on his mind. 

“Say, hyung,” he muses one afternoon, twirling his pencil absent-mindedly between his fingers. They’re huddled in the stacks of the library, surrounded by dusty books and dull-eyed students, a low murmur filling the quiet silence. “You never did tell me what your comic was about.” 

"I didn't?" Renjun looks up from his sketchbook. Jisung notices that he tends to carry it everywhere with him nowadays. “I thought I did.” 

“Nope,” Jisung shakes his head. “You didn’t even show me all the pictures we took.” He nudges Renjun’s shoulder with his own, suddenly curious about his progress. “Are they even any good?” 

“Course they are,” Renjun replies, nudging him back. “I can show them to you now, if you want.”

“Why didn’t you before?” 

Renjun shrugs. “You never asked.” 

He digs around in his bag for his phone and opens his camera roll, scrolling down to the very bottom, where, interspersed with a few selfies, are gathered all of the pictures they took, neatly organized by date and pose. “See,” Renjun points out with a small smile on his face, “I kept them all. It’s always good to have multiple references when you draw, y’know, just in case you need different poses for different scenes.” 

“Wow.”

Jisung inches closer, wide-eyed. 

They look like… 

Like… 

_Boyfriends_. 

He hadn’t realized just how many photos had been taken over the past few weeks. They’d piled up and Jisung lost count, but he swipes through them now, quietly impressed. Although he’d given Renjun permission to take all of them, most of them look like candids—and _feel_ like candids, too; mundane and domestic in a way that makes Jisung’s heart flutter in his chest. All of a sudden he yearns to know what it would be like to kiss Renjun every day just because he felt like it. To intertwine their fingers and press his lips to the mole on Renjun’s hand, waiting for the other boy giggle at the chivalrous gesture, tucking their hands into his pocket for warmth during the winter. 

With a bit of difficulty, he pushes the thought away and hands the phone back to Renjun.

“So,” he starts, clearing his throat. He doesn’t know what else to say. “This comic really _is_ romantic, huh?” 

He instantly winces at how that sounds, the implications it has for their own friendship. But Renjun’s lip just quirks up as he ruffles Jisung’s hair. 

“Yeah, we get to choose our own stories, and I wanted to show the progression of a new relationship. How it feels like to fall in love, I guess. I thought the pictures we took were…” 

Renjun trails off, reddening a bit. He breaks eye contact with Jisung, averts his gaze to the ground, and mumbles something too low for Jisung to hear. 

“What?” Jisung stares, trying not to let hope and curiosity get the best of him. “What did you say, hyung?” 

“Nothing!” squeaks Renjun. He still won’t look at Jisung properly, though. “I just think we make a good team.” 

And he leaves it at that. 

✧ ✧ ✧

A week later, Renjun submits his project, marking the end of the semester—and his undergraduate program—with a movie night and a celebration. Feeling uncharacteristically nervous, Jisung finds himself squished on the couch beside Donghyuck and Jaemin, holding a slice of pizza while the others coo over Renjun’s comic, teasing him for being a romantic sap. Renjun just rolls his eyes but doesn’t deny it.

“You really drew all of this?” Jaemin asks off-handedly as he traces one of the panels. It’s based off the photo of Renjun and Jisung’s first kiss, which is the only reason why Jisung recognizes it so easily. He hides his fond smile behind his cup. The comic really is well-drawn, capturing exactly what Renjun originally wanted it to capture: a gentle, blossoming relationship. 

“Yeah,” Renjun says after a moment’s hesitation, eyes darting to Jisung. His gaze lingers. “I had some help, though.” 

"Oh?" Donghyuck hums. “Help?” Jisung shifts closer to Renjun, trying not to be obvious, but Donghyuck is too keen to let the moment pass. “From whom, Injunnie?” 

Renjun laughs, patting Jisung’s arm. “This guy right here.” 

“Didn’t know Jisung was so knowledgeable about art,” Jaemin remarks. He looks between the two of them with curiosity. “It’s nice of him to help.” 

“Yes! Super nice!” Jisung interrupts before they continue any further. His cheeks are already burning. “So anyways, are we watching this movie or what?” 

“Sure.” Donghyuck smirks, leaning back into the couch. “Whenever you’re ready, Renjun.” 

It’s calmer after that. At some point Donghyuck and Renjun disappear into the kitchen, talking in hushed voices. Jisung covers up his disappointment by focusing on the movie instead, but he doesn’t expect that upon their return, Renjun would take a seat by his side and pull him into a warm hug. 

It’s cozy. It’s _familiar_.

Jisung finally lets himself relax. 

They pay little attention to Jaemin leaving halfway through the movie and Donghyuck following soon afterwards, both of them claiming they have something else they need to do. It’s nice to be alone again with Renjun; Jisung missed spending time with him when the other boy was busy finishing his project. He tells him this, not with words, but with a cheek pressed to his chest as he snuggles closer. Renjun squeezes his shoulder in response.

The movie ends with Jisung nearly falling asleep and Renjun pinching him awake again to get his attention. 

“Hey, Jisung.” 

Jisung looks up at him blearily. “Hey, hyung.” 

“So,” Renjun starts, brushing through Jisung’s hair. “I never really thanked you properly for all the references you let me take. Of you. Of us.” 

Jisung’s eyes widen ever so slightly. 

“You really helped me out, and I appreciate that,” Renjun continues, softer and just as earnest. “So thank you.” 

Anticipation makes Jisung’s heart pick up pace. “It’s fine,” he replies, unsure of the direction the conversation is heading. “It was fun hanging out with you.” 

Renjun’s hand pauses at his forehead. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Jisung is whispering now. “I’m glad I could help.” 

There’s a beat of silence before Jisung feels Renjun take a deep breath. He’s too scared to face the other boy right away, so he doesn’t move, heart pounding, ears alert. 

“Jisung, when I said we made a good team…” Renjun hesitates. It’s so quiet Jisung could hear a pin drop. He holds his breath. “I didn’t mean just as friends.” 

Hope blooms in Jisung’s chest. If he’s right, then— 

“I meant more than friends,” Renjun clarifies, voice wobbly but determined; the epitome of who he is. “If you would have me.” 

Now, Jisung isn’t sure of many things, but he _is_ certain that if he put a hand over Renjun’s heart at this exact moment, he would be able to feel all of the emotions accompanying Renjun’s confession. In a way, Jisung is glad to be in love with someone this brave: it soothes him, gives him strength to reciprocate, makes him feel like he’s not alone in navigating their new relationship. 

So he just smiles and leans in for their first proper kiss, thanking his lucky stars. 


End file.
